Realistic Behavioral Expectations: What to Expect from 5- and 6-year old’s
Children between the ages of five and six years old are no longer “little kids.” They are in a very
important transition in their lives. They have developed skills that make them appear to have
things more together, so they are often approached by adults as an “older kid.” However, they
still do not have the basic skills necessary to keep up with the older children.
Between the ages of five and six years old, children are very enthusiastic. Their language skills
have increased, and they are able to pay attention for longer periods of time. They are
developing thinking and reasoning skills and have gotten better at seeing other people’s point of
view. All of this increases their autonomy and gives them a sense of independence.
And while these new, more mature skills are exciting to see 5- and 6- year old’s develop, they
often come with a “know it all” kind of attitude. At this age, children begin testing the boundaries
of rules set in place due to their increased thinking skills. They also begin talking back because
they now have a more expansive vocabulary to express their opinions with. But despite these
more developed thinking and language skills, children at this age may still whine or have
meltdowns occasionally. Five- and six-year old’s also enjoy the spotlight but tend to lack proper
sportsmanship. Because of this, they may accuse others of cheating during games or get upset
when they don’t win.
Five- and six- year old’s need adults in their lives that understand this unique transition period.
They want guidance and structure and their confidence increases by making mentors proud.
However, they tend to act silly when they are nervous or excited and they do not take well to
criticism. For these reasons, the best approach is the use of positive reinforcement with them.
Praising the good behavior that they exhibit will increase their confidence and, therefore,
increase the likelihood of their negative behaviors being more manageable. It is also important
for adults to be mindful when voicing expectations so that these children learn that privileges are
earned by making appropriate choices.
The SKILLZ program was created for this age group to target their stage of development in a
manner that adapts to their social and intellectual curiosity while, at the same time, building
skills that set them up for success. In each class, students are encouraged to take turns and
learn to compromise. They also learn how to win and lose gracefully. In addition, the instructors
are trained to utilize the 10 Laws of Instruction in each class while teaching the skills that are
specifically designed to help with the development of 5- and 6- year old’s. Their skill
development is rewarded in each class, which keeps them excited and ready to learn more.
Understanding the struggles of development that 5- and 6- year old’s are faced with is essential
for the adults in their lives. Giving them the ability to make choices is vital to continuing the
development of their autonomy. However, it is also essential to keep boundaries in check.
Remember to not take things personally when a challenge presents itself and you will be able to
respond more appropriately with this newfound insight and clarity.